A funny lesson was learned on the way to the NCAA championship

Saturday night there was a basketball game.  & I actually watched...parts of it.  Part of the reason it was on is the university next door was one of the contenders.  Another reason it was on was the underdog was our alma mater.  Let me be clear, neither one of us cared all that much about the results.  I also refuse to accept that many people care in any long term way. 

My evidence?  I have been wearing this badge on this lanyard for several years in plain view & the number of people who have remarked on it amounts to exactly two.  & they were married to each other.  & that was more than two years ago.  Since then, nothing.

Let's roll this back to a few months ago.  I posted what I thought about the education a person thinks s/he is paying for & the education s/he actually gets (& in many cases needs).  I don't care if you don't want to read it, the gist was that the lessons you get on the side are just as useful as the ones you had to sit faced forward for. 

Which catches us up to last Monday.  On that day a handful of individuals petitioned their professor for extensions, make-up exam/quizzes etc. because they were going to spend the end of the week...& the week-end...over 1k miles away.  Their team was heavily favored  & the plan was to extend this to include the final game tonight.  The argument was that this was a once-in-a-lifetime experience to be there when their team took the title & that a university education is a complete experience & being there for landmark events is part of that experience. 

As it happens, this particular professor believes that this is absolutely true.  & that part of growing up is learning to make choices & that all choices have consequences.  Sometimes you choose to skip the basketball game & study for the test & do well,  sometimes you still do lousy, sometimes you skip the test, take the zero & have a story about how you watched your team go on in victory.  All of these are choices & all of them have consequences. 

So the students went to the game & that is fine.  They took zeros on the quiz in question, but as the lowest grade gets dropped, a good student had no reason to consider that a problem.  The ones that had iffy grades (if there were any, I don't actually know) sacrificed the lowest grade drop, but it was theirs to sacrifice.  Those who decided to go made their choice:  the most important thing was to be there when their team won & went on to the final game.

The underdog won. 

Damn Yankees

Some days just seem to be lightening rods for particular subjects.  Like some days have all kinds of scientific landmarks, vaccines first tested & men landing on the moon, or other days that see the invention of obscure musical instruments & operatic debuts & so on.  Today is all about knuckling under.

Just to start the ball rolling, because of a calendar change (to the Gregorian) in 1592 there was no October 5th in several countries in Europe.  But not all.  Because that would make too much sense.

A few years before, okay quite a few years before, more than a century actually: Visigoths invaded Iberia.  & hung on for a good long time. longer when you consider the average life expectancy was a fraction of what it is today.  50 years is a lot longer when that is two generations ago.  They also managed to rape & kill & pillage plenty & pushed the Vandals out of Europe & into Africa.  That's right, the Goths pushed the Vandals out of Europe.

Lets move it forward a bit.  In 1450 the Jews were driven from Baviaria.  In 1793 the Catholics were driven from France.  It wasn't permanent but it was plenty grisly.

In 1877 Chief Joseph surrendered, after one helluva campaign.  If the US Cavalry had not had several times the munitions & warm bodies we would all be speaking...French?  No, I think they were named by the French.  I don't know what the Nez Percé speak & I am just a little bit embarrassed about that.  The rest of his life was a series of skirmishes & defeat as our proud nation ground him into dust.  The better man does not always win.

There are IRA bombings in 1974 & Golden Triangle Massacres in 2011.  In 1982 Tylenol recalled much of their product because bottles had been tampered with & seven people died.  Those murders have never been solved.

Oh, & in 1953 the Yankees won the world series.  For the fifth time in a row.  Damn Yankees. 

So that is what October 5th teaches us.  Some days you just go home in defeat.  But take heart, tomorrow in 1723 a 17 year old Benjamin Franklin arrives in Philadelphia. 

This week's big event

Sometimes it seems like the entire community has been getting ready for a great big day this week.  There have been months of planning & allocating police & other resources, weeks of coverage in the newspaper & television & of course, the pep rallies will stop traffic. 

That's right, I am talking about Gator Homecoming.

Football is a bit of a mystery to me.  Periodically I have to ask a question about the rules, the names of things & all.  I have never learned what the positions are called (I mean place on the field).  When I was in high school, the high school football team apparently won something important & I did not have a clue.  I would have remained clueless if not for some "Remember When" Facebook-thing.  I didn't remember so much as learn for the first time, but whatever.

It's a funny thing, homecoming.  A didn't realize it had nothing to do with a home game (well it does in that an away game homecoming would be odd) so much as alumni.  Even schools that do not field a football team have an annual homecoming.  Around here, the school shuts down (I know, right) no classes the Friday before & getting through town is a bear.  There is a parade & a pep-rally-sort-of-thing with headline guests (this year it's Tracy Morgan & some country music guy; Fladidah is a melting pot!).  A lot of money comes into town this weekend, national news crews pay a visit as well. 

& this is not all good.  A couple of years ago a person I know who was hiring for MicroSoft declined to go to UF's job fair.  To paraphrase:  I don't have to travel across the country to get a jock-wanna-be party animal who will disappear early Friday & puke on his keyboard Monday.  In many ways, his loss; in order to keep the cream of their public school system in state UF offers a tuition & scholoarship package that is like no other.  As a result more than one undergrad decides to go here instead of anywhere else you can think of.

That's the thing about these high octane events.  What it looks like from the inside or even from just out of the edge bears no resemblance to what it looks like to the majority who only get these glimpses.

What would Arthur do?

Every few years I am forcibly reminded they no longer teach The Crucible in high school english class.This rather astonishes me on so many levels:  Arthur Miller was an american playwright, writing about an event in american history that had strong tie-ins to what was at the time of writing american current events.  Also, even though there was already a french film version, they made it into a movie with Winona Ryder & Daniel Day-Lewis & it has been my sad experience that some english teachers like to set up a movie JUST IN CASE someone in class could not be bothered to find the crib notes.  Also, in the case of one friend's english teacher it meant she (the teacher) could nap peacefully in the dark while the kids are more or less occupied; I LOVE teachers but there are a few bad apples in there.  Or maybe they are just tired.  It has been a long, ugly haul for teachers here in Fladidah.

The american movie is not bad, actually.  It takes a few side roads from the play, mostly because it can (a change of scenery does a body good after all & just imagine a movie that remained set in what a stage could manage in scene changes).  If you are someone who does not much care for reading plays (it is a learned skill & even then you may not develop a taste for it), go ahead & watch the movie.  Netflix even has it on Instant View in time for the Hallowe'en season, & really what is scarier than Salem witches at Hallowe'en?  Turns out the day-to-day Salem townsfolk are pretty damn frightening themselves.

The gist of The Crucible in a paragraph is this:  for a variety of motives, the best of them being religious zealotry, the people of a village start accusing each other of witchcraft.  Once accused, you are more or less condemned....unless.....you can give the people accusing you another name.  Doesn't even have to be all that plausible; just say "yes, but I was lured & so-&-so lured me".  You will get a slap on the wrist, lose your property (maybe) & be shamed & ostracized (becoming a member of a group almost as large as said village, so that's not so bad, really).  Then of course you have to live with yourself, forever after, knowing that you are responsible for whatever happens to the next person.  & the next.  & the next.

If it all sounds a bit familiar, it was meant to.  When The Crucible was written, the Salem Witch Trials were common knowledge.  So was McCarthyism, whereby people were called up before a senate committee, accused of Communism & sentenced to jail, blacklisted, whatever.  Pretty much the only way to ease your situation was to say "yes, but I was lured; so-&-so lured me".  Some people resisted & their lives were ruined, Pete Seeger famously resisted & his life sure looked like ruined for a few years, but he who laughs last & all that.  I suspect few people on this earth will ever laugh so completely as Pete Seeger, in a completely not-malicious, laugh-along-with-me kind of way.

Late in their cycle, when the popularity wheel was rolling away from them, the McCarthy-ites turned their attention to Arthur Miller.  He was, at the time, married to Marilyn Monroe & most historians agree the accusation was almost certainly a ploy to grab some headlines rather than a sincere attempt to isolate the most dangerous communist in the country.  Unfortunately (depending on your perspective), Miller's response to the McCarthy spotlight was to write the most damning criticism of the work of the committee.  Double unlucky, it is one of the most famous pieces of writing in our american history (it lives right up there with a few others some people spend  a lot of time misquoting).  The Crucible has long held the distinction of being the most widely read & performed american play outside of this country.  It is all so interesting (truly) & you can find whole volumes on the subject; you can take classes on the struggle between Arthur Miller & Joseph McCarthy, on the widely predicted & very very wrong death of Death of a Salesman as a result of McCarthy et al.   But enough about Arthur Miller, lets talk for a bit about Lance Armstrong.

Earlier this month, Lance Armstrong said (I paraphrase) "I am sick of fighting it, I have a life to live.  You want my Tour de France wins back?  Take 'em".   For those who don't know, Armstrong has been denying allegations of doping for years.  It's interesting they keep coming back, in light of the complete lack of medical evidence etc.  I am not saying he wasn't doping, although as a reader of The Crucible I cannot help but wonder.  Particularly as his most ardent accusers have been other athletes who have actually been caught & then parlayed an easing of their punishment if only they can bring in the big fish.  I think Brit Hammond said it best:  "To me it says if you cheat and lie about it for several years, and then drop somebody else in it, you'll be alright".

Which brings us back around to what Arthur has done.  He has told us more about our system of justice than maybe we want to know, not because it is so awful but because it is so universally human. 

"Show me the money"

It took me a month to settle down enough to write this post & another few weeks to edit it:

Way back when, I sat STOOPIFIED as a ranking member of the NAACP told people that all this objection to Michael Vick was because he was black. Really? It could not possibly be because he shows the signs of an embryo serial killer? Who happens to be black? I admit this pushed a button with me as I have a family member who is convinced that everyone who disagrees with him is an anti-semite. Even other jews that disagree with him are secretly self loathing. That someone might disagree with his opinion (or dislike him for wholly un-semite related reasons) is just not possible.

But back to Michael Vick:  there used to be talk (& maybe there still is) about how animal rights activists were rushing to judgment.  Again - really?  Because isn't that what a conviction is-a judgment?  I remain entirely unclear "what time will tell" except how well he plays football & how much cash that generates.  Or are we waiting to see if he gets caught operating a hobby-dog-fighting ring again or torturing animals again or whatever & then rethinking whether he or not he is might not be such a great guy who was just at the wrong place that one time?

What is starting to come out, though is that a large, financial machine did indeed, rush to judge him, it rushed to judge him rehabilitated. & that, after reading court documents, it would seem Vick had a second chance when his juvenile records were sealed. & had another second chance when his college coaches intervened for him. & has already doubled up on second chances since joining the Eagles, when they argued that drinking in a bar was not in fact a violation of his parole (& opening the door for ANY parole violator busted in the same way to get sprung because a precedent has been set).

I am told that the Eagles & Vick are gearing up for the post-season.  I do not know, I do not take much interest in football (is it like hockey where virtually everyone plays post-season?), nothing to do with Michael Vick.  The other thing gearing up:  high school & college football players crashing & burning (& drunk driving & shoplifting) & every one of them is certain it will all be forgiven.  Why wouldn't they be?

Just for fun I like to google "football player arrested".  Since I started this little game, there are always at least 5 (& often more like 8 out of 10) unique arrests that have occurred within the year.  I thought I would try a few others: Baseball, Volleyball & the famously violent Hockey.  There were only two Hockey player arrests that came up for the previous year: one hit & run & one tried to hire someone to kill his boyfriend.  Volleyball was even lamer.  Baseball, that gentlest of contact sports, is almost on par with Football, though not so close as Basketball.  So what do Baseball, Basketball & Football have in common that Hockey & Volleyball do not?  Very large third party financial interests.

What would Sandy do?

I come from a family of avid & yet moderate Red Sox fans.  What does that look like?  Well, during the regular season it is Red Sox all the way.  & this years post season, they rooted for the Yankees because they are the same division.  That's right, no rabid saliva streaming "Yankees must die" rants.  It is just we would rather see the Red Sox lose, after all they choke with such style, than the Yankees win but if it is going to be the Yankees well it is going to be the Yankees.


Some of my fondest baseball-listening memories are of listening to Yankee games on the radio (baseball is just better on the radio).  Fondest retrospectively anyhow.  At the time, Phil Rizzuto's rambling about nothing happening on the field for inning after inning could get old. He would yak yak yak & then get around to giving the score, which was nowhere near what it had been.  I still remember the day he & his co-broadcaster (I think it was Bill White) disagreed about something & the other guy asked if Rizzuto was going to have some of his Money Store buddies talk with him.   Lately though, the Yankee I have been thinking about is Sandy Koufax.  & wondering what he would do.

Within days of the final exam date being assigned for A's class this semester someone observed it fell on one of the nights of Chanukah, neither the first nor the last, but one of the other six.  There was concern what this might mean for those students who could not be asked to sit an exam during a religious holiday.  This was a kind of funny concern, especially  1) Chanukah begins the day before exams begin & ends the day after exams end;  there is no such thing as an exam being given this semester that is NOT on a day of Chanukah & 2) of the three professors responsible for this particular large lecture, two of them are Jewish.  So far the administration has not suggested they sit out exams as well.

Sandy Koufax, for those of you not in the know, missed the opening game of the 1965 World Series because it fell on Yom Kippur.  So we know what Sandy did.  Still, what would Sandy do?  Because  Yom Kippur is a very big deal & Chanukah is just plain not as important.  Also, Sandy made it to the second game of same series; he did not sit out the whole thing.

So what to do for the (potential) student who says he cannot take this (or any) exam because of  Chanukah?  The clincher might have to be: what did he do for the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th & 7th nights of Chanukah last year?

I had to look it up, but for those nights of Chanukah in previous years, one of the two Jewish professors in this fable kept his office hours, attended his lectures & even proctored an exam.  If anybody did not take that one because it was Chanukah, he never mentioned it. 

//One of my brothers has a special name for the Red Sox:  Lords of the Rookie Mistake.  Someday I will write a novel & that just might be the title.

So easy a dog killer can do it

I have already said how (un)impressed I am with the NFL's decision to reinstate Michael Vick & now well, I am double dazzled by the Philadelphia Eagles. YesBiscuit! was good enough to put up the link to the Philadelphia Eagles Corporate Partners page. When I looked yesterday there were two standouts we use regularly & well I thought they might need new jingles in honor of this milestone. So this is what I came up with:

So much for being about the better stuff - Snapple
Even a dog killer can do it - Geico

& now I invite everyone to add their own to this page, but more important forward it to the appropriate Eagles sponsor.

I had zero faith that the Eagles will budge even an inch in their decision, until funnily enough less than twelve hours after the YesBiscuit! post, the Eagles took down their corporate sponsors page (although it remains cached here). Let me tell you who I was able to remember (with help from a few other not-Vickers I talk to) : Chrysler, Heineken, two different incarnations of Comcast, Lincoln Financial Group, BestBuy, USAirways, Taco Bell/KFC, Jeep, MasterCard, RiteAid Pharmcy, Pepcid, 7/Eleven, Pepsi, Miller-Lite, Dunkin Donuts, & of course Snapple & Geico. Oh & lets not forget my personal favorite: the American Red Cross. But thanks to For Your Entertainment I can point you to the pre-take-down list.

The unlucky thing about corporate sponsors is if they do not get credit for sponsoring, they do not think they got their monies worth so their logos are all over programs & tickets & their own websites. Anyone who has ever had a staring contest with a freakishly moist-eyed younger brother knows that in pulling the list, the Eagles just blinked. They could not have said "PLEASE do not contact our sponsors" any louder.

For Your Entertainment also suggests that the sponsors were probably blindsided & polite would be the best way to go when writing them (no such suggestion was made when contacting the Eagles directly).

Finally in the fairness of all things...well, fair, I should say A is not 100% with me on this. He is not sure Vick should have ever been banned from playing as the law is the law & MV was convicted, did his time & should be allowed to go on with his life. On the other hand, if the slogan "So easy a dog killer could do it" got well-known enough that they stopped running those annoying ads, well that would be killing two birds with one stone. Or should I say two dogs with the same chain.

//A' s exact words were...let me just fill you in: I said if MV was truly contrite he would have given up some names of others who had been involved & A said "Michael Vick does not live to satisfy you". It is moments like this that I delight in marrying someone for whom english is round-a-bout the third language. Or is it fourth?

Dear Mr. Goodell

It was with no surprise what-so-ever that I read you had reinstated Michael Vick to the NFL, with full reinstatement by week 6 of the upcoming season. I have never heard of a professional sports administrator that did not put $$ above every other standard & no one expected you would be any different. Also, I am sure it is handy for future offenders in the NFL to know "indefinitely" means less than three years.

Living in a Football Is King community, I have heard many arguments for Vick's reinstatement. I think my favorites are: they are just dogs & other players have beaten their wives/girlfriends & not drawn this much attention. I am sure both of these were factors in your decision. Whether we like it or not, there is a perception of complicity when a victim capable of speech elects not to speak.

On the other hand, if Michael Vick had rounded up his exes, put them in cages & forced them to fight to the death, the outcome would probably be somewhat different. In short, it would be out of your hands.

The world of football is plenty big enough that I am confident you will have a full & rich life without being much inconvenienced wondering what the rest of us think of you. Which is lucky because it is not much. As disgusted as I am by an ignorant animal that has never been taught to live in a civilized manner, is in fact rewarded for the damage it does, there is nothing more craven than the human being that profits from that animal's base nature.

This is the time of year I like to rip-off Frida Kahlo

Earlier this week, "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" was on & I loved every moment. Then began the seasonal descent into madness culminating on Dia de los Muertos, which I love just as much. I used to think the bible-South did not really observe Hallowe'en but I have learned it is like the seasons: it is subtle, but the change is there.

I reminisce about the drag queen parades of my young adulthood with the fondness usually reserved for Louisa May Alcott/Currier & Ives ice skating memoirs. O' callow youth, ba-blah, ba-blah. I am so fond of drag parades that I am always disappointed that drag races will not include the same cast of characters. I never thought they would, but still I can dream...

The earlier Hallowe'ens of my memory are blissful & free, when packs of costumed children roamed the neighborhoods & hardly a prank was played. The great apple-razor/poisoned candy hoaxes were not yet upon us. It was indeed a Golden Age.

& then there is a gap. Not having children (& not being a drag queen) I more-or-less lost track of this holiday for many years. Right up until the year after we moved here. That year, Hallowe'en fell on a Sunday (as it did again, 5 years later). For those of you that missed it, there was, I swear to G*d, a movement to trick or treat on Saturday instead so as not to sully the sabbath with this pagan ritual. Oy. Now that I think about it, I am not sure why football is permitted on Sunday. After all it a sanitized re-enactment of brute force acquiring territory through the carrying of a symbolic pig skin. But that is probably just me being difficult.

At around the same time, I discovered Frida Kahlo. Not that she was missing. Or that I had not ever heard of her or seen her work before. But something fell into place & I found my inner Frida. Every year, I take this reminder to enjoy these last flowers of the year, wear every outlandish article of clothing I own all at once & generally stop worrying about what other people think. I have decided against taking up smoking though. & I think I will try to avoid divorcing A just to marry him again.