Friday, July 10, 2009

Are zombies the new black?

Much of the Austen worshiping world is all a-flutter over the new book: Pride & Prejudice & Zombies. I confess I read the whole d*mn thing & it is just what it claims to be: Pride & Prejudice more or less in its entirely with extra zombies. There are also some ninjas, so be prepared.

C****** works at the library (which I believe I have mentioned) & maybe a year ago, maybe more she told me about an after-hours event/picnic/whatever where the talk wandered up on the latest romance genre: supernatural beings. Imagine Fabio only darker, inside & out. Because she works in processing, she has a pretty good idea what is new to the shelves & she was talking about cart after cart of paranormal bodice-rippers. & then came one of those questions Carrie Bradshaw never asked: is anyone interested in having sex with humans anymore?

Lets face it, teenage boys have been imagining sex with unreal beings for decades . You did not think those pictures in playboy were real did you? I had roommates that posed for playboy; I saw them naked more often than I would care to say & well there is a lot of airbrushing that goes into that magazine. & then there is that bit of folklore (that might actually be true) that american tv kept airing 'magic' women (Jeannie & Samantha come to mind) because who could possibly be interested in a tv-show about a normal one? I know I'm not.

I doubt this love affair with the undead is all that new actually. They are certainly very popular right now & were with...the Victorians. But in between, I think you could make a solid argument for James Bond being not among the living. Think about it, it makes sense; who else is so hard to kill except for a guy that is already dead.

& I am not sure where I am going with this. I have been reading the Betsy Queen of the Damned books: very foolishly funny & very Carrie Bradshaw, although I have managed to avoid Twilight completely. I am proud of this in the same way I am proud of never having seen a Rocky movie. No really, impressive, huh!

But I digress: I have been unable to avoid all the other-world characters in every film, book & tv-show & I guess it has been on my mind. Now that I think about it though, I think the undead might be the original black. & they are not back, they never went way.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Solve for X: X(3x3)=X(2x2)

I have posted before about the small on-line quilt block swap I run, maybe ten maybe twenty participates any given swap. About half the participants are local & another half know me but do not live nearby & the third half joined through a Facebook Group.

Everyone gets the same written directions & anyone local can hear them as well. If anything this is a disadvantage; I am not so clear spoken as you might think. Also, I talk with my hands which makes directions via telephone double-challenging. But all the confusions seem to be coming from the FB group: the group who gets the directions in writing (did I mention I used to write instruction manuals? & got paid for it? actually got good reviews for them?). The April swap was for a 4-patch; the previous completed swap was for a 9-patch. Of the eleven FB participants four of them sent the wrong block.

The funny thing about the wrong blocks is that with one exception (which I really think just got mailed too late), all the wrong blocks were actually morphs of more than one swap. The options were blue&yellow 9-patch, followed by tone-on-tone 4-patch. I got blue&yellow 4-patches & tone-on-tone 9-patches. I am genuinely at a loss.

I have decided to rearrange my planning so that no two alike blocks are ever scheduled back-to-back. & this seems to have worked. The third swap was an on-point basket of any kind. It did not matter if they were tone-on-tone, blue&yellow or whatever so long as they were vaguely discernible as baskets (& to be fair, mine was the vaguest of all). & every block that arrived was what it should be.

The next block is almost abstract: a center square that can be pieced or appliqued or not with a border or borders to bring it up to size. The idea is that it should be appropriate for a kids quilt, but that could mean anything.

//let me get out ahead of everyone who is looking at the equation & deciding there really is a whole number answer. You do not need to message me, I know what it is.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

A funny thing happened on the way to the recession

We live in an unusual county. Prior to the financial meltdown/debacle, many locals prided themselves on being the only Florida county to go McGovern. More recently, when the national home foreclosure rate was closing in on 1 in 450, here it was more like 1 in 827. Keeping in mind that Florida actually has a foreclosure rate above the national average, I got curious what make us so special? I have decided it is a few things, including luck, coincidence & maybe, just maybe brains.

First, because there is a large, large university within our shores a lot of money earned in other parts of the state gets spent here. I do not mean tuition, exactly (tuition in Florida is well below the actual cost of running the classes); I mean student money. They pay rent, they buy groceries, they spend a lot of their parent's cash around the area. So do football fans; football fans in particular pay lots of speeding fines, which is a lively source of income in these parts (well, it is).

Second, the main industries (many associated with the uni & others not, but probably would not be here but for the uni) are often the last you would cut from your personal budget. Education, yes but mostly I am thinking health care. I do not even know how many hospitals there are in the county seat alone, I can name four off the top of my head. There are not 1/4 million people in the entire county; that is a lot of health care. There are also almost twice as many people under the age of 18 than there are over the age of 65. Trust me when I say this is not the norm for Florida. This does not obviously tie in to industry, but it kinda-sorta does. Especially when your industry is health care.

Third, really smart people do not make as much money as you would think. We did the math once & figured out that hour-for-hour, a motivated cleaning woman with or without a high school diploma, employed by a professional cleaning company makes as much if not a bit more than A, a PhD physicist with a current & competitive research resume. No really. He has not logged less than 68 hours a week since August last year & often works more than that. He does not teach during the summer (& therefore does not get paid to teach during the summer), but he will work roughly the same hours. This being the case (& the local norm), McMansions are not a common housing unit here. & uni-money often being 'soft' money (renewed or not on an annual or semi-annual basis), even someone employed for years cannot get a loan without a sizable down payment. I never said the advantage of brains was in applying them, I just said more brains was maybe a factor.

More recently the housing market here in Florida is bouncing back. Guess where it is not bouncing: right here. In part because things did not lose nearly so much 'value'. & in part because a shocking number of the homes that DID tumble in value were rentals. Student rentals. & no one in their right mind will pay anything like $. 75 on the $1.00 for a house that has been inhabited by college students & their off-the-record sub-lets for any amount of time. The auction house I wrote about before did not sell. I heard from my neighbor who talked to the house's neighbor that at the appointed hour, not a single bidder had showed. If they are really expecting what they are asking for it that house will be empty a long-long time.

On the up side, the student neighborhoods have gotten much nicer. A friend of mine has lived in her own little house walking distance from campus for decades. There has always been an ebb & flow around her but about seven years ago it got much more virulent. The house next door was purchased by a family with at least two sons. Both of whom went, at different times, to uni here. So while not technically a rental property (& therefore not subject to any of those rules) it was effectively a rental property. Many more than the usual number of people lived there, parking on the lawn, parking on her lawn, collecting garbage around the house, not painting or repairing or mowing. The last straw was the half-pipe with spotlights they erected in the back yard. I do not know about town, but out here any structure with a roof or within 100 feet of a structure on an adjacent lot requires a permit & neighbors approval. Guess what they did not have (did not even try to get).

The student houses around campus still exist, of course, people have to live somewhere. But they are looking much better cared for. It turns out the only thing worse than having to pay rent while your kid goes here for 5+ years is having to supervise tenants for the 5 more years it takes to sell. The fines for an illegal half-pipe are no fun either. & that home-made video of how they behaved when your faux-tenants were told they had to take it down (& the tossing of debris into other peoples yards) well, that was kind of expensive, too.

Friday, July 3, 2009

UPS tracking # 1Z 926 EW6 03 0130 3812

On Monday (I was not home but V** was here), a UPS truck pulled into the driveway. The driver never got out of the truck (that she saw) but left a package in a plastic bag at our front gate. The driver never came to the door to make the delivery, did not even leave the package on the porch where it would have been safe from the weather. When I got home I would have driven right past it if V** had not told me it was there.

On Monday, Wednesday & again today I called UPS & each time it has been the same headache from scratch: they have no record of my previous calls. I am calling because the package is not for us. Although the recipient's last name begins with the same letter as our last name that is where it stops being the same. It is not for anyone on our street; it has a clear address with a different street. It is not for our number on this other street; as with the last names the first number of the four digit street number is the same as ours, but that is it.

Under ordinary circumstances I would say this was a very avoidable stoopid mistake. Wrong street, wrong house, wrong name & any of it could have been avoided if not for the wrong driver. But it actually gets worse: it turns out UPS has no system (or functioning system) for reporting this kind of mistake. Each time I call it is like I have never called before.

In the grand scheme of who has the right to be pissed, it is not me. I am not the shipper nor am I the recipient & I suspect that is exactly what is making it so hard to fix this problem. I am just sick of this pile of garbage (it has been raining on & off over the last four days) waiting for pick-up at my front gate. Last night I dreamed there were kittens in the package which has made me more upset than I should be.

When I take a step back though I notice two things:

1. what do people have against the post office? Sure, they do not have those crazy slick scanning gizmos , but then again this package was delivered to the correct address four days ago according to those same gizmos so what does that matter? Besides, when I go to my local post office, the post-people know me. By name. & they deliver mail to the house almost every day mail is delivered. Want to know how many misdelivered bundles we have had in the past year? Two. If that seems like a lot do the math: 52 weeks x 6 days a week = 312 total delivery days a year & 310 went without a hitch. If UPS made 15 deliveries to my house last year I will be surprised but lets say that they did: 15 deliveries & 14 were OKay. Do I really need to do all the percentage calculations to show who has the better track record?

2. the other bell that kept ringing in my head was the universal health care bell. I am tired tired tired of people complaining that the government will squeeze out private health care providers. If that were true other government institutions would not have private competition (like oh, say the post office). Private firms might have to step up their game. OR they could make like UPS & fake it.

//As I began this post this morning, I did finally get a call from the local UPS office that they had indeed received all my complaints & a driver would be out "shortly". She asked if there was any reason the driver might have trouble finding our house. I said that would depend: if it was the same driver as last time he could not find the front door when he was parked in the driveway. As of the time stamp on this post the package was still out there.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

This time of year when I think about this time last year

This blog is one year old tomorrow. If I felt like flipping back to the 'published' page (I do not) I would tell you how many that is. I know it is more than 100.

This year, contrary to my predictions the rainy season has come early & steamy. I actually never said it would not be hot, I just said it would be dry. Well, it turns out you cannot predict the weather watching emus no matter what Laura Ingalls Wilder says. Although I think she used bees.

This is why I am hoping that this year I will get my July 4th wish. I hope it rains. I hope it rains all week-end. I hope the rain that started yesterday keeps going for five more days. & I hope that I can have a fireworks-free sleep after a drunk-driver-free afternoon. & I hope everyone else gets that, too. That's right I am forcing my crazy liberal wishes on all of you.