How we ended up at Sears

I was watching House Hunters the other day, which for the record I would not ordinarily do.  I wanted to watch Ice Loves Coco but the batteries in the tv remote need to be replaced & sometimes they take you to the closest channel to the channel you entered less one digit & then won't do anything for a few minutes while they regroup or something. 

So I was watching House Hunters & all this first time buyer (yea, it might have been My First Place, sue me) wanted was a space big enough for a pool table she did not yet own.  Every property she viewed, she measured to make sure there was a room for her pool table to-be; 15' if I recall but mostly I really wanted to see how Coco's sister's baby shower was going & I was pissed at myself because I do not know how to change the channel on my own tv without the remote & if I had kids I would have tv-grounded them for sure at least once & taken the remote away & now they could help me change the channel so I could watch the drag queen dance with his mariachi band at Coco's sister's baby shower, so don't start measuring your house thinking 15' is enough for a pool table because I might be wrong about that.

Okay, so she walks into every house & she measures.  The real estate agent acts like this is a huge inconvenience, rolls her eyes, the whole deal & then....& then the agent actually shows a house without space for a pool table completely wasting everyone's time!  All I could think was how much it would chap my ass (yes, that's how I think) that someone who is making THOUSANDS in commission to show me houses mocks my requirements  TO MY FACE & cannot even be bothered to make sure the properties we visit meet that requirement, that one requirement. 

I have no idea what happened next because the batteries started working again & it turns out the Ice Loves Coco that was on while I was stuck was last week's & I did not miss a single minute of the baby shower & let me tell you drag queen doing what look like high school cheers while a mariachi band takes a break by the pool cannot be beat. 

I told you that story to tell you this one:  while we were shopping for appliances for the new kitchen (yay NEW KITCHEN!) every single solitary sales person tried to convince me what I really wanted was a range hood with a microwave.  They stood next to my 5'+ self, opened a microwave door that was level with my eyebrows & told me that while I might not find it convenient, what with not being able to see in the microwave & also having to stretch to push the damn buttons, etc. it would help the resale value of my house.  They would not shut up about things I didn't want & things I couldn't use.  I was so bummed.  Where oh where would I find a sales person who was not motivated by his commission, who would barely even make eye contact because he was busy texting, where oh where could this paragon be?  Well, let me tell you, he's at Sears.  If you want the specs on any of the appliances, he can show you how to find them on the website & other than that he stays completely out of your hair.  Who knew there was a place for inertia in the marketplace?  Sears did...does....always has done.

I have a friend who wanted a particular baby stroller (the baby is in high school now).  She went to Sears, because they were the only ones who had it & looked for a sales person.  She found the floor model & looked for a sales person.  She found the shelf they were on & looked for a salesperson.  She climbed the shelf & pushed the box off.  Giving up on the sales person, she put the stroller together, put the baby in it & went to the check out where she had trouble convincing them she did not come in with same stroller.  Really.

That's it, we got a fridge, dishwasher & range from Sears.  The hood we are getting elsewhere because finding a quiet one that does not have a  microwave oven cannot be done, even in the leave-me-alone paradise that is the Sears sales floor.  To their credit though, when I said that was what I wanted, the salesman said "we don't have that" & went back to texting.