So last weekend while I was not watching the superbowl I came across yet another name generator. I remember the old days when you had to plug in the info yourself. Yes, I know these things are sometimes more than a little insensitive but humor is pain so suck it up.
For example my drag queen name is my own first pet's name & my mothers maiden name. Which would technically make it Andrew McVey which is awkward for reasons only people who really know me know (Andrew was a big black tomcat who used to sleep in my crib, yes it only gets worse). So I usually say it is Gus McVey; Gus was a smaller gray cat that I actually remember. I have relatives, (by marriage, okay I might be married to one of them) a brother & sister who could claim Penny & Petey Hauptmann. Can't you just see that up in lights over some vaudeville theatre? Appropriate as it happens, the whole vaudeville vibe, I mean. I also have a friend who would be Princess Gail (& no, she has never met my sister, although this is one of the few that actually works). & another that trumps mine: Magoo Doyle. I even like to think about what my friends are doing to their kids & yes, I mean you mother of the future drag queen Doxy Brennan. Maybe she could perform with her brother Junie Brennan. Oh wait, I forgot about the guinea pigs. & the cat. It's an à la carte process.
My niece (Osiris O'Brien- winning drag queen names run in my family), recently uncovered the formula for your zombie survival team: the last band/musician you listened to, the hero of the last video game you played & the hero of the last movie you watched. Mine were X (same as one of my brothers, I know right?) which segued to the Pogues so it can go either way. The Sims as it has been a very long time since I played a video game. Because I am a grown-up. Also Sudoku doesn't really have characters. & Sherlock Holmes. My only hope is outrunning these punks, drunks & cannon fodder. & Sherlock Holmes. Osiris gathered together Cher Lloyd, Greg from Hay Day & Elle Woods. Yup, she's toast.
But you don't have to do all the work any more, now you can use an on-line name generator. I would wrestle under the name Flighty Callgirl, which seems heavy handed no-pun-intended. Practice witchcraft as Brigid Toadcackler.
& last but not least, if I were an animal abusing, pro-football quarterback trying to cover up my treatment for genital herpes so I cold go on to infect groupies with impunity I might call myself
Brigitte Vanuatu.
No comments:
Post a Comment