Wednesday, February 6, 2013

A name by any other nom de guerre

So last weekend while I was not watching the superbowl I came across yet another name generator.  I remember the old days when you had to plug in the info yourself.  Yes, I know these things are sometimes more than a little insensitive but humor is pain so suck it up.

For example my drag queen name is my own first pet's name & my mothers maiden name. Which would technically make it Andrew McVey which is awkward for reasons only people who really know me know (Andrew was a big black tomcat who used to sleep in my crib, yes it only gets worse).  So I usually say it is Gus McVey; Gus was a smaller gray cat that I actually remember.  I have relatives, (by marriage, okay I might be married to one of them) a brother & sister who could claim Penny & Petey Hauptmann.  Can't you just see that up in lights over some vaudeville theatre?  Appropriate as it happens, the whole vaudeville vibe, I mean.  I also have a friend who would be Princess Gail (& no, she has never met my sister, although this is one of the few that actually works).  & another that trumps mine:  Magoo Doyle.  I even like to think about what my friends are doing to their kids & yes, I mean you mother of the future drag queen Doxy Brennan.  Maybe she could perform with her brother Junie Brennan.  Oh wait, I forgot about the guinea pigs.  & the cat.  It's an à la carte process.

My niece (Osiris O'Brien- winning drag queen names run in my family), recently uncovered the formula for your zombie survival team:  the last band/musician you listened to, the hero of the last video game you played & the hero of the last movie you watched.  Mine were X (same as one of my brothers, I know right?) which segued to the Pogues so it can go either way.  The Sims as it has been a very long time since I played a video game.  Because I am a grown-up.  Also Sudoku doesn't really have characters.  & Sherlock Holmes.  My only hope is outrunning these punks, drunks & cannon fodder.  & Sherlock Holmes.   Osiris gathered together Cher Lloyd, Greg from Hay Day & Elle Woods.  Yup, she's toast.

But you don't have to do all the work any more, now you can use an on-line name generator.  I would wrestle under the name Flighty Callgirl, which seems heavy handed no-pun-intended.  Practice witchcraft as Brigid Toadcackler

& last but not least, if I were an animal abusing, pro-football quarterback trying to cover up my treatment for genital herpes so I cold go on to infect groupies with impunity I might call myself
Brigitte Vanuatu

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